X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Dir: Gavin Hood)

"Wolverine" is the definition of superfluous. Synonyms for "Wolverine" include flaccid, tepid, unnecessary. Twentieth Century Fox needed several big releases for the year and "Wolverine" filled one of the empty slots. The film gets by solely on the idea that if it puts Wolverine up on the big screen, no matter the story, we'll go see it. I paid full admission so Fox is obviously on to something. It also throws in lots of mutant cameos which make little sense other than said mutants are also popular and will generate enough goodwill to keep the fanboys happy.

The story of "Wolverine" is standard superhero origin boilerplate. Feeling guilt after the death of a parent, the titular hero flees his home and tries to run away from the pain and burden of his unique abilities. In the process, he wreaks havoc on the lives of those who are kind to him and must ultimately face down his demons in a climactic battle. Every turn of the script, every surprise, is expected and uninspired. Bloated incoherent blockbusters are apt to inspire my hatred--see "Transformers" and "Armageddon"--but this one just inspired indifference. It's a lifeless bore.