Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (Dir: Patrick Tatopolous)

(This review will no doubt generate a comment such as "Did you get paid to see this?" I would ask readers to go easy on me and remind them that when your options are "Hotel for Dogs," "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," "Bride Wars," or "Underworld," you pick the one with vampires fighting werewolves.)

I went into this film with more than a little anxiety worried because I had never watched one blue-hued second of Len Wiseman's mighty "Underworld" saga. Would I be confused as to why werewolves and vampires hate one another? (After the film, I'm still a little unclear on this matter.) Would I learn why Kate Beckinsale, after a string of indies and respectable period paces, became the go to girl for b-fantasy? And would I learn what the socially appropriate term for a wolfman is? If you're with one of them at a party or workplace do they prefer Lycan or Werewolf? I'd rather not anger a wolf-person and I abhor species-ism.

None of these questions would be answered, but I was able to follow the film. The first two "Underworld" films--as far as I can gather--tell the story of the ongoing battle between werewolf and vampire. The latest installment is a prequel and tells the story of Vampire Lord Viktor and the beginning of his feud with his foster lycan Lucian. Set in the middle ages, it is a murky tale--the better to hide CGI flaws with--that purports to tell a tragic tale about an interspecies feud of which we are still feeling the impact to this day. Like Stephen King's "Wizards and Glass" entry in the Dark Tower series or the ill-advised Episodes 1-3, this film wants to be a tragic aside in an attempt to give added depth to an ongoing series. Unlike King and Lucas, "Rise of the Lycans" is mercifully brief.

The film clips along at a brisk pace never pausing long enough for you to try and suss out the story details. We're essentially dealing with vampires versus werewolves. The direction is adequate and the creature effects--what you can see of them--are interesting. Character actor Bill Nighy, playing the evil vampire lord Viktor, chews scenery, wears blue contacts, and scowls through much of the proceedings. The vampires are ill-defined, seem kind of weak, and are nowhere near as fearsome as the Lycan. The storytelling, setting, and characters are all thin. These are stock characters in stock situations. The action is, as the ongoing trend, impressionistic rather than schematic. Displaying cool flips and decapitations is more important to the filmmakers than letting you follow the action at hand.

You will certainly see worse movies this year. This one has the advantage of being blessedly short.